A blog advocating autism through my own personal experiences and insights.

Posts tagged ‘math’

Two More Poems

Here are two more poems I wrote that I’d like to share. The first one attempts to explain my passion for mathematics and how mathematicians look upon their work. The second one explains a deepened flaw that I have and am slowly improving upon. I will elaborate on it in my next post and, as always, show how it affects my autistic life.

A Rare Joy

There is almost nothing in his room
Nothing modern of any sort
No computer, no calculator
He has even discarded his old slide-rule

Instead, only piles of paper await him
With a pecil or two at hand
A book maybe but only for reference
He usually relies on his own mind

His room has but one window in it,
Which looks out into pure nature
He has no contact withany others
With the possible exception of his own kind

His used papers have nothing
Except for numbers and abstract symbols
Many look down at them in confusion
Only a rare fw see Nature’s beauty in them

He does not care wht use
His numbers andabstract symbols will be.
He only sees them as an ar form
And it brings in him a pure joy

 

Preserving Perfecto

I crave for approval from all of you
Criticisms I cannot stand
I don’t care how close we are
Nothing but praise is what I demand

I have high expectations for myself
I will continuously raise the bar
And strive to be right at the top
I am terrified of being merely on par

This is why you can’t compete with me
I am driven insane by this obsession
I am like a bomb about to go off
In every single life occupation

If I am a university student,
What is the time I dread most?
Unless my exams go perfectly
I worry and believe I am toast

I’m climbing the flagpole with intense effort
Look out everyone, here I come
I sure hope no one’s going to pass me
Every potential success I will not succumb

While I may want a high success rate
Being perfect is not my true desire
Simply unconditional love and approval
Without the effort of trying to go higher

While trying to be perfect can be bad
Not all of it is of a disadvantage
It’s what drives me and gives me motivation
So a part of it is good and helps me manage.

But is all of it really worth it?
I think I have myself tied in one huge knot
So instead of preserving all the perfecto
I will slowly let go and let a lot of it rot.